Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining
to my husband that my breasts are too small.
Instead of characteristically telling me it's not so,
he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion
"If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of
toilet paper and rub it between them for a few seconds."
Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand
in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts. "How long
Will this take?" I asked.
"They will grow larger over a period of years," my husband replies.
I stopped. "Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper
between my breasts every day will make my breasts
larger over the years?"
Without missing a beat he says "Worked for your butt, didn't it?"
He's still alive, and with a great deal of therapy, he may even
walk again.
Stupid, stupid man.
The Miracle of Toilet Paper
Never, under any circumstances,
Take a sleeping pill and a laxative
On the same night.
Take a sleeping pill and a laxative
On the same night.